Perspectives

I'll begin by expressing my inner unease with the notion or having to spew my opinions in a blog that deals with race and neurotypicality, as a white neurotypical person. What could I possibly express that could be relevant to this topic? I feel innapropriate, not only because of my privileged position but also simply because of my lack of knowledge on the issues; I have learned the concept of neurotypicality only during last week's class. It feels like I have a lot of listening to do before - if ever - I can contribute anything meaningful and relevant to a conversation on these issues.

The concept of aural  perspective resonates with me, though. Having recently started my transition as a trans women, I have to admit that certain sounds, or rather words, have now been amplified beyond anything I would ever have imagined. It has become seemingly impossible for me not to hear gender. I rejoice like never before when my prefered pronouns are used to refer to me. It makes me feel validated, like peoplebare for once talking to and refering to my true self rather that one of the multiple personas I came to adopt over the years. Yet, I cringe at the thought of hearing the words "Sir" or "Monsieur". What used to be a polite title I thought about very little, a word that only furtively glimpsed my mind, has become one of the worst insults someone could use to attack me. It triggers in me a very deep and violent pain, yet the casual omnipresence of such words is something very few people from my day to day life have ever thought about. I feel constantly theatened and confronted by people who, in all likelyhood, mean no harm to be. I stuggle to control my anger at these situations, because my low voice, short hair and tall height can only understandably confuse people. Yet it boggles each time how loud and menacing these words now sound to my ears...